fugitive.. book of laughter & forget

To people who LITERALLY " finish " this

if u would describe me as flaky plz don't read this
i don't feel good
if u would miss/think about me and/or worry about me
after u literally " finish "
this iris's fugitive story
i wanna say Thank  you !
don't worry about me i'm fine
and i'm not ready to leave (yet)
i don't really know how did i'v done all of these shit
it's just like a dream
and i don't think i know exactly what/how leads u here with me
u know i'm crazy (it's just like a dream)
but i'm glad though
u can miss me or worry about me...but not too much
and when u feel boring or need a girl like me
u know where u can find me
that's all i want to say
that's it
:)


peace V

iris

Whole scheme

the fucking whole scheme is that
when the bus arrived the south station of boston
we all stand up waiting to leave
just right after i stood up
i found the guy sitting next to me
wear the red sneakers
see the whole world is so fucking to me
and seeing his wearing red sneakers stepped out along the aisle to/and move forward
of course i knew that i just folded my too long dark green pants n' inserted bottom them to my shoes
from its getting wet from the raining New York way getting back to dry and clear weather boston
and i also realized that people in our front seat is an indian couple and the lady in our backseat speaks russian
yeah i felt heavy all the way on the bus and i panted quietly and tight heavily
and when i enter the hall on my way to lady's room i feel chilly and i was shaking
after i go down the way to the street connection for a cab
i got on a cab with my medium white bag with the guy just getting off wearing black shirt and jeans and three bags on hand and one dark red backpack
and the black driver rushed me into the car
and for the first time the cab i took leads me directly to the frontdoor to my current living place but yeah i actually wanted to buy some snacks
so i walked to the convenience store just around the corner
see the whole fucking world makes my cry and laugh all the time and almost sick
but i'm fine
i'm still here typing these shit
and yeah the outside evening is raining again
probably not that bad coz my myspace is rainingmorning...
and the other unbelievable thing happen to me recently is that
i'm literally somehow wearing my contact lens to sleep and wear my glasses to be awake
and i don't feel painful
getting frequently panting and hard to breathe is a bit painful..
i always say that i don't wanna repeat
but yeah these shitty patterns pattern my life
yeah maybe i should quit smoking
maybe this thinking is the other
something/new thing/message hits on me
i'm fine
n' i guess
that's it
.

Here with me

Here with me
by Dido


on the way back to Boston from New York i was listening to this
and i guess i'v prepared the mood of my moving
it's just few blocks away from the current place...
but i haven't figured out how to move all the stuff within a week
i hav to go(ne) through all these shit first...

before i switched to Here with me
i looked outside the window
after i pulled back my mind i just realized that
a guy with the dark blue T-shirt is sitting beside white sleevelss shirt n' white coat me
don't know when did he sit beside me
it's funny because the way we put our hands on our waist is the same
and the way we put our hands on his black IKEA bookbag and on my white girl's purse is so alike
and the way he puts fingers beside his lips is so like me
and when i used my phone sending the message he looked his phone checking the time
when i looked down my purse searching my stuff he moved his body toward the right for a bit
when i pick up my ipod from my left ear headset cord putting it back to my right pocket
his right hand with left hand beside his center ipod was searching 4 stuff in his left pocket
and the way we put on and take off our headset is so alike
and we both stay(ed) on the bus when it pulled over for the interval rest
the main difference between me & this guy is that..
for the whole 4 hr roadway
sitting aside the window me always look outside window diagonal
sitting align the aisle him always looks straight ahead the frontseat
and the fucking funniest thing is that
be4 i switched the song to this Here with me
i was listening to Moby
yeah go back to Moby
yeah he comes from new york
so the simple picture here is
i was listening to the song from/for a guy 4om New York without noticing that a guy probably similar to me was sitting beside me from New York
maybe there's some reason out there
that i have to leave this city(current place) to figure out my moving thing
even now when i'm typing this shit
all of these u could say just three dimensional
i'm still wondering what's this one's difference with that Conspiracy café
on the roadway headed to new york i was thinking my moving out confusing thing
on the roadway back to boston i was thinking my confusing moving in how to do that within a week
and i was/is panting intermittently...
well if i could make a brief of this Here with me
that would probably be
u always go everywhere for/with everything with/to everybody
and the extension is that..
most of the time i don't really feel lonely
i just feel hurt
that's probably why i'm always unwilling n' don't wanna consider that i'm smart
coz those intellectuals' intellectual conversation(s) makes me sick
intellectual rise society
intellectual ruin society
if u really want the provement
check out the the history of Robespierre
but i wish..
ppl focus this one on Here with me

iris

now i think/know that
i'm the rainbow from the hell
i'm born to torture ppl
when my mom gave a birth to me
she suffered from a big birth pain coz i was late
and she almost died
and one day she & my dad was walking on the street
a crazy dirty old man claimed himself the fortuneteller and said to my mom
u should have died.. how amazingly u r still here alive
and until now this moment i still wonder that how come my mom&dad never ask me
if i want to be born...like i was born to be having no other choice...
and 5 yrs ago my college website nickname is
bleeding
and the other nickname is
save the last dance
and probably 9 yrs ago my high school website nickname is
the ghost's suicide
and this



Iris by Goo Goo Dolls
makes me name my name iris
that was about
7 yrs ago
yeah
these shitty things construct me
and i kinda glad that recently i can hardly breathe frequently
coz it naturally strengthens that vanish feeling

Relationship

note on the bus on the roadway headed to New York
dubbed with I remember you by Skid Row

i massage my dad
my bro massages me
i go shopping with my mom
my bro goes seeing movies with my mom
my bro helps my dad moving heavy things
my bro plays basketball with his bros
i receive a message/make a phonecall 4om/to a girl when i feel totally alone
my bro shows up with his chick when my mom asks him to buy tickets
i hav an unknown b friend
grandma says no matter whom u r with i would like him
i start to pant heavy tightly again
terrific
i'm totally spoiled


this is
The unbearable lightness of the being
in terms of Milan Kundera
in terms of me

Only smart people can read through this

seriously



yeah this is probably the reason i don't wanna hav kids
but usually kids and dogs and cats pretty like me
yeah probably i'm welcome in their world

Showing off my copywriting ability

this book is fucking awesome and expensive !!!

Things i have learned in my life so far
by Stefan Sagmeister

things he has learned - things i'v learned
Complainging is silly, either act or forget - stop complaining
Trying to look good limits my life - be good in ur life
Everything i do always comes back to me - don't do bad things
If i want to explore a new direction professionally, it is helpful to
try it out for myself first - don't risk others' life be4 u risk ur
own life
My dreams have no meaning - either u forget about ur dreams or don't consider
it's a dream
Thinking life will be better in the future is stupid. I hav to live now
- don't think u would hav a future if u don't live right now
Helping other people helps me - u r people, people is me
Assuming is stifling - stop making useless expectations
Everybody [always] thinks they are right -  everybody is right
Having guts always works out for me - having guts always works out with everybody
Worrying solves nothing - check out NIKE
Over time i get used to everything and start taking it for grandted - take it for granted ?
Low expectations are a good strategy - don't wanna repeat, check out Assuming is stilfing
Everybody who is honest is interesting - like me
Starting a chartity is suprisingly easy - everybody should do chartity
Keeping a diary supports personal development -  if u read though this fugitive u'd definitely understand it
Being not truthful works against me - try as hard as u can to show true colors
Material luxuries are best enjoyed in small doses - get some money don't get rich
Money does not make me happy - depends on the way u see it
Drugs r fun in the beginning but become a drug later - check out Jim Morrison's one thing

To myself & those boys & girls who suffer from loving shitty issues

we r just poor kids
so maybe sometimes it's good to have something to be addicted to it
and this is fun..
i almost get addicted to it...
this music is sung by the other american born chinese singer stanley huang
his chinese pronunciation is a bit weird and blurry and laid-back
and nice...i mean in this song..
the song's name is  " it's not love "
well one of the world ranking level super designer / art director
Stefan Sagmeister says/quotes?
" everybody who is honest is interesting "
i totally agree

It's not love
by
Stanley Huang

.../.../....!!/..??....??...?....??!!......
forget that yeah i might hav had some rice./././././
losing my feeling i'm just lazy to remind /////////
strolling alone on the street
with no sense of the street........ ..
i don't really feel bad...
my head is totally blank......?

i wish i could forget
so that i would feel light
i don't want to mind u
but yeah i hav no other things to do

it's just a horrible stereotype...... ?
i'm sure it's not love

these shit is just weird enough.....????
u'r sure it's not love ????????????... ... ...

i know that i act high..../.../
don't wanna too much expect....//.//

i know there's some chance left....
want u come back...!...

let's race to see...
who comes back.....!!!

wanna forget about u
so that i would feel light.....~....!!!!

don't remind me minding u
hav no other things to do............orz

like a terrible stereotype

i'm sure it's not love...??/a27676387sy7y37ed

these shit is just weird enough122nknjdhuh@@a

r u sure it's not love.....

staying chill is not my type
i'm going to crazy...!..!!!!!

coz i just know that
i do love u.....!..!..!..
is a fact

wanna forget about u
so that i'm light ~
!!
don't remind me minding u
nothing else to do..... ~><~

it's just a horrible stereotype

i'm sure it's not luv....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

these shit is just wierd enough.......???!!!!!

r u sure that it's not luv....?? -><-

To that deaf girl

i tried it at friday night
actually it's not that difficult..
as long as u watch it carefully & concentratedly..
since friday night i'v watched this episode for thousands of times..
how amazingly i find that the guy in the first scene and in the middle
of the last scene
looks so similar to one of my the other cousin
both the vein and the outlook..amazingly alike
this is one of the famous idol dramas in taiwan few years ago
at the end that "main" character died
well my cousin disappeared 2 years ago
nobody knows where he is
he literally makes me cry all the time
3 years ago my dad asked him to teach me drive on the roadway
in the car he said why don't u ask your dear daddy hire some personal
trainer to teach u
don't fucking crash our car
i don't really think he's a bad guy
coz i could still remember when we were little how he likes my mom's
type
i hated him
but i fucking hate my families
for sure & no excuse they cause his leave
nobody knows where he is now
i just think every city is a story
just like he is one of the stories

To Punk

yeah this one is specifically for u..
i decided to order this for u when i was in that dark moving out graduate dorm room
and yeah i still want to order this for u
yeah maybe u will see this
maybe u will never will
but still this one is for u
coz i just decided to be extremely nice..
and/or extremely cool
sorry it's just time to clean out..
enjoy and i still wanna say fuck u
yeah somehow it's just the way i ended up with guys/with u
images here don't mean anything to me..but they r cute